Even after all this time, I still can’t believe some of the things my dates say to me on (or prior to) a first date. Truly personal things. Things I would just rather not hear on a first date (and, honestly, sometimes I don’t ever want to know them) Allow me to introduce date number 44.
We met on the site for mature daters, when he contacted me. I wasn’t actually interested at first, but trying to stay open minded, open my parameters, blah blah blah…you know the routine…. We spoke on the phone and made a date for coffee–at a place I’d never actually been to–imagine that!
We met and it was ok–he appeared quite a bit older in person and I wasn’t really interested but figured I would see what he had to say before I wrote him off. My mistake. What he had to say was the whole sordid story of the end of his marriage. How his wife screwed him royally. How he lost his job and all his money. How he hated her. It was just too much–I think I lasted about an hour and then needed to go. I’d heard sob stories before, but this one was just over the top. He was still so angry. He was not ready to move on–he still had a lot to work out before he was ready to date.
I’m hoping he realized it too, cause the next day he wrote me a note and told me he thought that maybe he was not ready to date yet ( ya think??) and he apologized for venting to me. Maybe he just needed someone to listen–but what he didn’t need was another relationship at this time–of that I am sure! Did he really stay offline and work on himself–I’m not sure, cause I left that website–but I sure hope he did. Sometimes I feel I need a psychology degree–or maybe my dates just need a psychologist!
Lessons learned:
- Please don’t vent to your dates–it’s awkward, uncomfortable and just not fun to listen to. Really.
- Don’t date before you are ready. Don’t date before you are ready. Don’t date before you are ready. Did you get that??