Unlike many others I know, I do not have a checklist or strict criteria that I follow in order to date–and I certainly don’t have a ‘type’ but…being over 50 (and, frankly, now closer to 60 than 50) I am sensitive to the age of my dates. If you lined up all of my serious relationships in a row (but please never do this), no one would look anything alike and even personalities would differ–but everyone was within 2 years of my age and that is just my comfort zone.
On the dating sites, they always ‘encourage’ you to go outside your boundaries so you don’t miss a potential match so I am trying to do so..even K is always telling me to go a bit older to find a mate. So I am. And number 41 is my proof that I am doing so. I met him on a site for ‘senior singles’–over 50’s (cannot even believe I am a senior single but I guess I am–ugh!) He contacted me first. He was 6 years older than me, had a pleasant smile (let’s assume they were all his own teeth, ok?) but was totally white-haired–a first for me. But I can do this..I can do this..
Well…we spoke on the phone and he had a great phone voice and we made plans to meet for lunch in a couple of days…which happened to be the day after he was having a knee replacement (I wish I was exaggerating, but no lie). He asked me to drive since he obviously couldn’t so I picked him up at his house (which was just a few away from K’s–total coincidence) So not only am I on my first date with a totally white-haired man, but he is completely stooped over and walking with a cane. I know he just had surgery, but the irony of finally dating someone that much older than me and feeling like I was out on a date with my grandfather was all I could think of.
It was a nice date–we had lunch at a local place and then sat on his porch to watch the ocean–I know going to his house is not usually first date plans, but honestly, I knew I would have no problem fighting this man off should the need arise! And he was a perfect gentleman, so no fighting was necessary. And, new boundaries or not–seeing him again was not an option for me–I can’t get serious about someone who reminds me of my grandfather…Move on!
Lessons learned:
1. Expand your boundaries. Go out of your comfort zone. But don’t force a fit–if it works, you will know
2. Very soon after major surgery is probably not the best time for a date (and this is the second time this has happened to me–see date 12) Take time to heal and get back to normal before you get back on that horse–you want to put your best foot forward–and without a cane, if possible..)