I literally could be driven mad by this dating process. Number 36 is a perfect example of my failure to understand almost anything when it comes to men. I came across his profile and I sent him a cute note–he answered right away and we seemed to click. I liked this one going in–even before we spoke for the first time.
We happened to speak on a day when I had just gotten my hair done. Now if you are like most women, you hair never looks as good as it does the day it gets done–I use the same products, blow it the same way but never can seem to get it like my hairdresser does..why am I telling you this? Because while we are taking on the phone and making plans for the next day, I casually mentioned that it’s a shame we weren’t meeting that day cause my hair looked extra good! Much to my surprise he says why don’t we just meet tonight then? It was around 8 pm but I’m trying to be more spontaneous (see date 38 too) so I pretty much jumped in my car and went to meet him–not much time to stress about it at least!
Again, I am faced with meeting someone with a full beard that didn’t have more than a goatee in any of his pictures–but at least I was expecting some facial hair. I really am not a fan of facial hair in general, but so many guys have it that I can’t really make it a non-negotiatiable but I just don’t really like it. I made a mental note to not count it against him cause there was so much more to him than his facial hair. We had a couple of drinks and an appetizer and it was a very nice evening. At the end of the evening, we decided to keep the original date we had for the next evening and meet again.
This time we planned to meet at a very popular local brewery known for good beer and delicious food. As I am waiting for him, he texts me that he is running late. Since I thought we had reservations, I decide to go to the hostess to tell her he is running late and I realize I don’t even know his last name! This is pretty common in online dating–I would say I never got the last names of at least half the men I have gone out with. It is a little bizarre to reach date number 2 or 3 and you don’t know the man’s full name! Anyway, he soon arrives, we get a great table and I tell him how I was attempting to change the reservation and I didn’t even know his last name. So he tells me. And my heart literally stops. It is the same last name as the woman Mr. IM is seeing! Only in my life, I tell you. As I’m smiling at him, I am frantically trying to figure out if there is any way in hell I am dating her ex-husband and I realize (thankfully) I am not. But really, what are the odds??
That little blip aside, we had a nice evening. And I really thought I would see him again. What I didn’t tell you initially is that he had a very unusual (but way cool) job and he worked on one week of 12 hour shifts and then off for a week. Due to a combination of circumstances, it would be near impossible to see him at all during his work weeks. And given the fact that he had 4 children he liked to visit that were living in 4 different places, it didn’t even leave a lot of time on his off weeks. He told me he just didn’t have the time or energy for a relationship at the moment…which is fine, but why then was he on a dating site in the first place? With a profile that specifically stated he is looking for a serious relationship! Do you see what I mean about not understanding men at all??
Lessons learned:
1. Sometimes spontaneous is good–it leaves you way less time to stress about a date!
2. If you don’t have time to date–please don’t pretend you do! You can put in your profile that you are looking just for casual relationships–if that’s all you have time for.