I met number 26 on a site I had never tired before that was specific to my religion–it was a site I hadn’t been on for long and I was a little uncomfortable using because I didn’t know if it would attract only ‘hard-core’ religious men. The site itself was a bit strange because it asked you specific yes/no questions about your religious beliefs–including whether you believed in sex outside of marriage (and I really want to know if the guys that put no actually would stick to that or if it was just for show) I have to admit it was a bit funny to see men agree with every question on there, (and I think there were 7 ) until they get to the sex before marriage one!
We wrote back a forth a bit and then he gave me his number–we spoke and it seemed to go ok…then we texted..and he asked for more pictures (I only had one on the site because I was really just checking it out). When we were talking about working out (and I do–often) he then made some kind of comment about a bikini body–now, my bikini days are long gone at age 54 and I’m fine with that…but it didn’t sit well with me and made me really wonder about what he was really looking for. (Important note here: he was 57-58, with an very average build so we are not talking about a washboard ab guy here–if he were a woman, he would not have had a bikini body either!) Anyway, I am not at all interested in someone who is all about the looks–and it was beginning to seem like that’s where he was coming from! Arghh!
Not really feeling it, but I did agree to meet him for coffee after church on a Sunday morning. Upon meeting I could tell, right away, that this wasn’t a match–we spoke for awhile, but he seemed completely distracted and uninterested. We spent most of the time talking about his ex-girlfriend (who was on television and was recognized when they went out together) and you could just tell he hadn’t been a priority in her life and he did not like that at all–but apparently she was ‘smoking hot’, so I suppose he put up with it for a time! Anyway, it was quick and relatively painless, but nothing. And the first (and last) man I went out with on that site….next!
As a side note: this particular man contacted my twice more at later points (on another site) just ‘checking in’–and I come to find out that the time I saw him was just during a ‘break’ with this particular girlfriend–who he was still seeing until about 5 months after our date–until she dumped him for good. It does explain a bit…
Lessons learned:
1. If you have pictures on a site, there is no really good reason to send someone more…I do regret that I did
2. Looks are important. Looks are unimportant. Both are true–you need to have some degree of ‘spark’, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder–if you don’t have ‘the look’ that someone is searching for, move on and don’t take it personally–don’t ever feel like you are not good enough for anyone!
3. Beware of men on ‘breaks’ (although I didn’t know this was the case at the time) If they are still connected to someone else, more likely than not, they are in no way able to make a connection with you
4. Some (and I dare say many) men will put up with almost anything for a smoking hot woman–this has been demonstrated to me over and over again. Ugh!