Number 22: Back on that damn horse….

 

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When last I left you, I was nursing one hell of a heartbreak from my break-up with number 21…in trying to figure out what I could do to make this heartache go away, I tried to use logic:  what do you do when you are down?  You get back up!   In my grief-impaired state of mind, I took this to mean that I should go out on a date and break that ice once again–as quickly as possible!  After all, number 21 was already dating–why shouldn’t I?  Enter the now 4th dating website that I have used…here we go again!

Before I could go online to look, you have to set up a profile and submit a picture (or more).  My last profile was almost a novella–everything you ever wanted to know about me, who I am and what I was looking for…it was just perfect–except it wasn’t! Men (for the most part and I know there are some exceptions) want just the facts, Jack–short and sweet and to the point whereas mine meandered all over the place and took a long time to get to the point….I imagine most men got tired halfway through and stopped reading there.  Not the success I hoped it would be…so I decided to totally change it up this time around–my profile is a man’s dream come true: short, funny and to the point…and the response I have gotten is amazing!  So many men are writing–even some (who live too far away to date) just to tell me how much they like my profile!  It took me years, but I finally got it right–learn from my mistakes and do it right from the start!

Anyway, this new and improved profile led me to date number 22–I will be honest here: I really had very little attraction to him based on his pictures (nice enough, but no click) BUT…he said he was funny and at this stage of the game, I could use a good laugh so……I’m back on that damn horse!  Yippee…not.  We spoke on the phone (yet another phone call I am making to a stranger) and it went ok so we made arrangements to meet in 2 days.

We met at a Jamba Juice (that was a new one for me) cause he said he doesn’t drink coffee (and apparently he doesn’t drink Jamba Juice either since he didn’t have anything)  He was very pleasant and it wasn’t bad but his sense of humor was very corny–not really funny to me.  The low point was when he told me about a song that he wrote that made fun of a certain ethnic group (which just happened to be the ethnic group of my number 21) so you can imagine how well that went over with me.   I wouldn’t have liked it anyway, but it was just another thing that brought 21 back into my mind!

At the end, he wanted to see me again but I knew I wasn’t interested.  Again I told him I would e-mail him and let him know, and I did.  I had to pass–in reality, I just wasn’t ready anyway but I am now almost pickier than I was last go round–I know what is important to me and what is not so important: I want someone who can make me laugh and it’s just not him…..next?

Lessons Learned:

1.  You do have to get back on the horse eventually…but maybe not too soon.  After a heartbreak, you need time to heal:  if you are not ready for a relationship, it’s not fair to you or the one you are dating.

2.  I’m happy to know I am learning something as I go through this process:  think like a man when you write your profile:  short, funny and to the point works!

3.  Watch the ethnic jokes:  you never know what the other will think is funny and you run the risk of really offending someone

4.  Am I really starting all over again? sigh! (not a lesson, just an observation…)

 

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