Fifteen (and oh so angry!)

Ah, Mr. Fifteen…a pretty angry man, I think.  I connected with him when he looked at my profile and I looked back at his–I had remembered writing to  him many months earlier, but he never responded (so not unusual, unfortunately!).  When I read his profile this time, though, it was like a good bye letter telling how match just didn’t work for him and he was getting off the site and was just wishing everyone well.

I took the opportunity to write to him and tell him that I had reached out to him many months earlier but was never answered, and wished him well outside of match.  I got a reply right away this time–how could he not have contacted me? He apologized profusely and said he would love to talk and gave me his number.  I told him I would call him the next day and left it at that.

Well, for some reason he decided to update his profile again–but this time it was almost a rant saying how people were taking advantage of him and how much he was spending on dates and how he got nothing in return–I was floored!  If this had been the original profile I read, I would have never responded–it just sounded angry and bitter.  I now dreaded calling him at all, but since I said I would, I did.  The phone call went ok and we made plans to meet on a Thursday evening for coffee.

We met and coffee was fine (but no sparks) but I just couldn’t unread the bitter profile update he had posted (which he said he subsequently pulled–wish it was before I saw it!)  We left there with tentative plans to meet to play pool in a few days and I said I would get back to him with dates.  On Friday I said I needed another day or so to get my schedule together, but I was still struggling with how bitter he came across–how could I let him pay for anything after his rant about being taken advantage of?   I finally decided on Sunday that life was too short to go out on a date you don’t want to be on and I sent him a note saying that I just wasn’t interested in seeing him again and wished him well….

Well…..I get a snarky e-mail saying something to the effect “Well, you wanted to see me on Friday, but changed your mind on Sunday so I guess someone had a really great Saturday–good luck to you!”  Wow, I was blown away and more than  a bit relieved that I listened to my instincts and cancelled–I mean, Bitter, Party of 1 or what?   I think he needs to work out a few issues before he starts dating again.

As a total aside, my friends and I pass along this large, very ugly ceramic monkey from person to person among ourselves that is named the same name as this man–it would have never worked out because my friends would have snickered every time I said his name–it was for the best!

Our monkey–found him in my shower the night of bunco–you see why it would have never worked?

Lessons learned:

1.  Listen to your instincts–they are usually right more than they are wrong

2.  Don’t rage in your profile–it’s not attractive at all

3.  If someone writes to you, you really should answer–even if it’s just to say no thank you–K and I look at it like karma–clear your in basket so you can clear your karma!

4. Don’t date someone named after the monkey you and your friends pass around.