Ahh, Number 5–here we go! The first of the bunch that I actually felt a connection with–my reason to keep doing this at the time! Ok, in case I come across like I think I am never wrong in my actions, here is one for you that proves otherwise…my number 5. I actually contacted him a while before when I saw his profile, liked it and thought he was a cutie. He never responded. Very common occurrence–I really don’t know what the ‘real’ statistics are, but just using my friends and I as examples–I would say maybe 50-60% of the people you write to never even respond. Are they still active? Did they even see the letter? Who knows? All I know is that I write and I hear nothing pretty regularly. At one point, K and I decided that we would not be like that and we would respond to every request, even if was just to say we are not interested. We call it ‘clearing our karma’ but it really is just good manners (in an environment where manners are rare). I’m shocked at the number of guys who write back just to say thank you to me for responding to their e-mails,even if I’m just turning them down.
Anyway, I never got a response and moved on to others but I would see his profile from time to time and one day I decided I would try again to see if things had changed. And, big surprise, he answered! We started e-mailing and he was as funny as he was cute! Finally, I gave him my number (the first one I had done this with) and he told me he would call…and I waited…and waited..and waited….after about four days…and a girl’s bunco night where we took turns trying to figure out why he didn’t call–I sent him the following e-mail:
I was just sitting down trying to figure out why you don’t call when you say you will–please read the following multiple choice answers and let me know which answer best describes your reason…ready? (hint: how you do on this quiz goes a long way in telling how compatible we may or may not be..)
A. I don’t even remember who you are…This goes back to your potential hockey-induced temporary amnesia (NOTE: something we had joked about earlier)–this means I have not made any impression at all so far. Don’t like this answer
B. There was a horrible accident…Yes, a well-meaning friend actually gave this to me as a reason for you not calling..I don’t like this answer either as I wish you no harm regardless of how you do on this quiz…so if this is the case, once you emerge from your coma (fully intact), you will fall in love with your nurse and live happily ever after…I don’t like this one, but at least I gave you a happy ending…
C. You lost your dominant hand in a construction accident and you can’t dial…Not as bad as it sounds…we can work through this one–you learn to type out messages with a pencil between your teeth, but after sending a few widely inappropriate messages (due to auto-correct), we look at alternative limbs for you (monkey paw, anyone?) In the meantime, you enter many Halloween contests as Captain Hook and do very well…I don’t love this answer, but at least it has comic potential.
D. You are not interested anymore…This answer is worse than any of the above (well, maybe not to you) so let’s just consider it a wrong answer….
E. You are too busy,…..Ooh, this is a tough one as I don’t have a good response to this–sigh!
F. I got you to at least smile during this short quiz and now you don’t even know why it has taken you so long to call…Big hint! This is the right answer–pick F!
G. Not only are you not calling, but perhaps you are blocking me from Match altogether…Don’t like this answer either, but understand if you think this is the strangest e-mail you have ever received and just want to walk away…just please let me know (I am a big girl and can take it–I would always rather hear the truth) and I promise to go away quietly….
And your answer is….???? (last hint–pick F) In case you were wondering why I would write something so, um, well, creative (can we go with that?) this is me and my sense of humor, for better or worse, and I figured I needed to go with the big play right now–so did the goalie get a winning goal (in the other net, not their own–that’s too easy) or was it a shutout? (NOTE: he was a hockey player)
and you should know (for your own ego purposes since I already put you in a coma and cut off your hand–thought I owed you this) that this is by far the most effort I have ever put into meeting anyone on match…..
Crazy, I know, but it seemed like a good idea at the time…but he wrote and answered F and promised to call and finally did….we had a great conversation and planned to meet at a coffee shop nearby my home. When I met him, he was as cute in person as he was in his picture and I was kinda impacted…I got butterflies and was having a little trouble concentrating..but think I held it together well enough..for a time. After we were finished talking (it was comfortable and playful), he offered to walk me back to my car…but I couldn’t remember where I parked it! I was mortified! We walked up and down 3 rows before I finally found it and I was so embarrassed by that point! I’m still mortified just thinking about it! He then told me he’d like to see me again and he would call–can you guess what happened? We did write back and forth a bit afterward, but no phone call….this was my first (of many to come) real disappointments on Match–I physically felt an attraction to this man, but I can’t say if he felt one for me–seemed like he did, but nothing was forthcoming so maybe not.
This one was also a big lesson for me–when I am sitting home waiting for someone to write and that someone is a single dad, with a job and other responsibilities–he is not thinking about me the way I am about him cause he doesn’t really have the time to do so…this is a hard lesson to manage, but an important one to learn. Your priorities are not necessarily their priorities–the sooner you realize it, the better off you will be online dating…sigh! I did like this one!
Lessons learned:
1. If someone ignores you once, wait a bit and try again–it may just be a matter of timing!
2. Don’t be afraid to let your personality come through–stay authentic and you will have nothing to lose!
3. Your priorities are not their priorities–sometimes timing may not be what you want but you really have no choice
4. Remember where you park your car–ugh!