Number Eight–Of course I’m always right–just ask me!

Another way you can get someone’s attention on Match is to ‘favorite’ them–by doing so, you move their profile into a special section on your  home page and it avoids seeing someone you might like and then losing track of them.  When you favorite someone, Match lets them know so you can keep track of not only people you may like, but people who seem to like you.  Number eight had set me as a favorite, but I wasn’t really feeling it and I didn’t really consider him a viable date. K, however, thought he was cute and sincere and convinced me to contact him so I did.

Our initial interaction was by e-mail and it was fine–we made plans to meet at a coffee house on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.  As I sat waiting for him in this crowded coffee house (he was about 15 minutes late and called to let me know–but dialed the wrong number so I never got the message) I was wondering if I would even recognize him if he didn’t look like his picture!  There was a man sitting outside that looked considerably older than I expected this man to look like, but I debated in my head (especially as more time passed) whether I should approach him or not–luckily, I spared myself the embarrassment and did not have to approach him as number 8 finally showed! (and he looked enough like his picture to be recognized easily–whew!)

Our date went fairly well–no sparks (at least on my end), but very comfortable conversation–for the most part. He said he had concentrated on raising his child (who was now an older teen) and he not dated much.  When we spoke about his ex, however, I started to hear the warning bells..ugh!  Although he was married a very short time and had been divorced for something like 14 years, he was still actively fighting his ex over his child–and told me, quite proudly, that they had been to court nearly 40 times to battle this out–it was obvious to me that the word compromise was not in either of their vocabularies!  He seemed almost proud of the fact that his ex ‘hated’ him and was still trying to make his life miserable (even though she had been remarried for many years already).  I just don’t understand couples that can’t just let go and move on–it just doesn’t seem healthy to carry that kind of negative emotion for so long.  I see this often in Match and it makes me really sad for them–I truly don’t believe you are in a position to move on if you are still fighting battles from your past.

As we said goodbye, I held out my hand to shake his and and he actually asked if he could give me a hug–that’s a good sign, right?  As always, I went home and wrote an e-mail thanking him for the date and I waited for a reply..and waited..and waited! Three days after our date, I wrote him a short e-mail and said if he had a good time, it would have been nice to have heard from him (or at least respond to my e-mail) so I knew it…well, I guess he is not someone who takes suggestions easily because the next day I got a terse e-mail telling me that he would not be pursuing a second date at this time…really?  When we met, he was telling me how new this dating experience was to him and how he felt like he didn’t know what to do..well I guess I should have just let him make his own mistakes and not try to help…I really don’t want to say what his profession is but suffice it to say that his job usually tells people what to do and I guess he wasn’t happy being on the other side of the equation for a change–oh well!

Lessons learned:

1.  Again, if you really think you are not interested in someone–just pass.  It saves your time and theirs too.

2.  Don’t ever correct someone who corrects others for a living–they may not be able to handle it.

3.  Someone divorced for 14 years who is still fighting with the ex–let’s just say that can’t be good…