It is ironic that the last date I wrote about was 7 years younger than me and I didn’t feel old and I follow up with someone who is two years older than me and now I feel old! I came across number ten as part of my daily matches–people who Match sends directly to you for you review. As part of this process, you can indicate interest–which, in turn, gets sent to that person to decide if they want to contact you or not. I expressed interest in number ten and he answered right away, which was ironic because I was not at match in either his preferred location or age parameters…and I was too new in the process to realize this should have precluded me from the start!
We wrote a couple of e-mails and after an initial phone call, decided to meet for drinks at a nice restaurant/bar about mid way between our locations (he lived about 45 min away from me). Out of all the men I have dated so far, I would probably consider him the only ‘player’–and he liked his women young! In case you hadn’t noticed, no matter how well ‘preserved’ you are, there is a pretty big difference between a woman in her 30’s and one in her 50’s! He started out our date by asking me to wear something ‘sexy’—to give an ‘old man’ (his words, not mine) a thrill…ugh! Talk about first date pressure!
The date itself was fairly comfortable–although I’m not sure my version of ‘sexy’ was enough to thrill an old man/young man/any man…I’ve determined I’m more comfortable being ‘brain candy’ than ‘eye candy’ and I’ve made my peace with it! He told me about his brief marriage (about 1 year) to a woman 20 years younger than he was–and I realized I could have actually given birth to that woman! (damn my ability to do simple math in my head!) Not the kind of thoughts you want to have on a date! As we sat there, though, I started to think I may well be the oldest woman this man had ever gone out with and that was a sobering thought! Note: he denied this, but I’m not sure I believe him!
So what did I learn from this..besides realizing that a VS bra and non-granny panties are not enough to constitute sexy? Well, hard as it may be to hear–people want what they want and there really is nothing wrong with that….while I think the idea of a 50-year old going out with a 30-year old is ridiculous, if it works for them–who am I to judge? Guys who only want blonds or asian girls or women over 5’8″? Same thing….if you see a preference on a profile, you probably want to listen to it..even if you think you are a better match!
Lessons learned:
1. Pay attention to the desired parameters–if someone takes the time to list specific parameters, differing from them can be a deal-breaker–no matter what you think about it.
2. Expand your idea of sexy and own it–when you meet the one you actually want to be sexy for, you will be ready!
21 responses to “Number Ten…talk about feeling old!”