Number 21…sigh! Finally the date that showed me how dates could really be! As I told you before, Mr IM did call this time and we decided to go to dinner at (wait for it!) a sushi restaurant! (by this time I have figured out what to order there) Since I had already met and spoken to him for over 1 hour at the mixer, I figured that dinner would be ‘safe’ and not a repeat of the freak show antics of date number 7. And it was comfortable…very comfortable! He was handsome, charming and funny (did I say handsome?) and everything just flowed so naturally. I think it was the sake, but about 1 hour into the date I actually leaned in to kiss him first–only the second time in my life that I have ever done anything like that–no lie! It just felt right!
After dinner, we took a walk on the beach…and kissed some more…and then we went to a local dive bar, danced to a Led Zeppelin band (truly not easy to do) and kissed some more. It really was a totally electric-charged night: the date I had been waiting for! One night in, and I was smitten–and I thought he was too… We ended up spending 19 months together (which turned out to be some of the most difficult times in each of our lives due to circumstances) but I still would have said things were amazing between us–even with all of our challenges. His family lived locally and I grew close to them and we even spoke of marriage on a regular basis–it was more a given, then a decision–we were just waiting for his financial situation to turn to move in that direction.
Well, as much as I hoped and prayed for a happy ending to my fairy tale story–it was not to be. A week after we hit 19 months, he broke up with me (truly out of the blue) with the excuse that he needed to dedicate himself to straightening out his financial situation and didn’t want any distractions…so I guess the woman he is now seeing must not be a distraction like I apparently was. I still miss him every day. It hurts like hell. He truly broke my heart. Sigh..
The list of things I learned from this could go on forever, but I will try to keep it brief:
1. While I have joked my way through this blog, in the end feelings and emotions are no laughing matter…If you are willing to put yourself out there, love can be an amazing experience. You just have to be willing to understand that it can end at any time and when it does, it can be very painful.
2. Love at 50 can hurt the same (or worse) than love at 20–we learn and grow as we age, but there is no real way of protecting your heart from heartbreak. I guess you can’t enjoy the highs if you don’t leave yourself open for the lows..
3. There ARE happy endings in online dating–K is moving in with her man this weekend (after a 15 month relationship), Vix is happily dating her man for about 1.5 years now, I know 2 people who have married their matches and 2 more who are currently engaged. It DOES happen. You have to just keep going with one foot in front of the other, a smile on your face and an open heart.
4. Give yourself time to heal after a serious breakup–I jumped back into dating in an effort to help me get over this heartache, but pulled back when I realized it was just too quick. (sorry dates #22 and 23…) It may be a distraction, but if you are not yet whole, it’s not going to work out anyway (can you say rebound??)
5. There is someone out there for me, too (that’s what they tell me!) –I just haven’t met him yet!
6. Guess there’s life in this old blog yet….
