Monthly Archives: July 2015

By the time I got to Mr. 37, I have been dating pretty steadily for a couple of weeks and I am already getting tired of it!  When Mr. 37 contacted me, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go out with him, but in the spirit of ‘you can’t win if you don’t play” I said yes.  After speaking briefly on the phone, we make arrangements to meet at a park near my home to walk our dogs.  At this point, my beloved first dog (that went on my last dog date) had passed away and I had a new rescue dog to bring with me.  It was supposed to be a beautiful day and I thought it would be a nice change of pace, dating wise that is.

According to Mr. 37’s profile, he was a widow.  But after speaking to him on the phone, I found out he had remarried after his first wife passed and he was now divorced.  But he still considered himself a widow–why do guys do that?  He wasn’t the first guy I came across who were widowed and then divorced (Mr. 17 did the same thing)  Hate to break it to you, guys, but you are as divorced as I am! Anyway, I figured we could talk more about it when we met.

I met him at the park and the absolute first thing I notice is that he is wearing a wedding ring on a chain around his neck–on the outside of his shirt.  Frankly, he might as well have been wearing body armor at that point.  Maybe the ring is special to him and he wants to wear it–fine, but on the outside of your shirt? That is just a bit too in your face for me! (not to mention the 5+ years he was remarried–did he wear it then too?)  I don’t  know, if you are still wearing a wedding ring from someone who died over 10 years ago–I’m just not feeling that you are ready to date.

It was truly a brief date–no matter what he said about being interested, I just couldn’t get past the ring.  He seemed to sense my reluctance to see him again but he did say that maybe we could walk the dogs again–who actually did get along ok!  It really is amazing how I’m 37 guys in and every date seems to bring new fodder for this blog….

Lessons learned:

1.  It’s easy to get in a dating rut (coffee again??)–it’s nice to do something different for a change of pace

2.  If you are ready to date–do not wear your wedding ring to a date!  It’s kind of a mixed message–you think??

I literally could be driven mad by this dating process.  Number 36 is a perfect example of my failure to understand almost anything when it comes to men.  I came across his profile and I sent him a cute note–he answered right away and we seemed to click.  I liked this one going in–even before we spoke for the first time.

We happened to speak on a day when I had just gotten my hair done.  Now if you are like most women, you hair never looks as good as it does the day it gets done–I use the same products, blow it the same way but never can seem to get it like my hairdresser does..why am I telling you this?  Because while we are taking on the phone and making plans for the next day, I casually mentioned that it’s a shame we weren’t meeting that day cause my hair looked extra good!  Much to my surprise he says why don’t we just meet tonight then?  It was around 8 pm but I’m trying to be more spontaneous (see date 38 too)  so I pretty much jumped in my car and went to meet him–not much time to stress about it at least!

Again, I am faced with meeting someone with a full beard that didn’t have more than a goatee in any of his pictures–but at least I was expecting some facial hair. I really am not a fan of facial hair in general, but so many guys have it that I can’t really make it a non-negotiatiable but I just don’t really like it.  I made a mental note to not count it against him cause there was so much more to him than his facial hair.  We had a couple of drinks and an appetizer and it was a very nice evening.  At the end of the evening, we decided to keep the original date we had for the next evening and meet again.

This time we planned to meet at a very popular local brewery known for good beer and delicious food.  As I am waiting for him, he texts me that he is running late. Since I thought we had reservations, I  decide to go to the hostess to tell her he is running late and I realize I don’t even know his last name!  This is pretty common in online dating–I would say I never got the last names of at least half the men I have gone out with.  It is a little bizarre to reach date number 2 or 3 and you don’t know the man’s full name!  Anyway, he soon arrives, we get a great table and I tell him how I was attempting to change the reservation and I didn’t even know his last name.  So he tells me. And my heart literally stops.  It is the same last name as the woman Mr. IM is seeing!  Only in my life, I tell you.  As I’m smiling at him, I am frantically trying to figure out if there is any way in hell I am dating her ex-husband and I realize (thankfully) I am not.  But really, what are the odds??

That little blip aside, we had a nice evening.  And I really thought I would see him again. What I didn’t tell you initially is that he had a very unusual (but way cool) job and he worked on one week of 12 hour shifts and then off for a week.  Due to a combination of circumstances, it would be near impossible to see him at all during his work weeks. And given the fact that he had 4 children he liked to visit that were  living  in 4 different places, it didn’t even leave a lot of time on his off weeks.  He told me he just didn’t have the time or energy for a relationship at the moment…which is fine, but why then was he on a dating site in the first place? With a profile that specifically stated he is looking for a serious relationship! Do you see what I mean about not understanding men at all??

Lessons learned:

1. Sometimes spontaneous is good–it leaves you way less time to stress about a date!

2.  If you don’t have time to date–please don’t pretend you do!  You can put in your profile that you are looking just for casual relationships–if that’s all you have time for.

Mr. 35 contacted me first.  He was a bit different ‘type’ than I usually dated, but he was nice looking and had a nice profile–he even had some pics of modeling he had done in his younger years.  The drawback–he was 5 years younger than me and I was a little concerned. (remember–no cougar instinct here!) I look fairly young for my age, and could pretty easily pass for my 40’s instead of 50’s (45-47 is usually what people say–bless them!) I decided if he didn’t care–which he said he didn’t-then I wouldn’t either!

We first arranged a phone call and he had what most US women would consider the holy grail–an English accent!  Unfortunately for him–so did my ex-husband!  So let’s just say that is not a plus in my book–in fact, it was almost enough to dissuade me from going out with him in the first place! Even more discouraging for me–there didn’t seem to be a hint of humor there–and that is a non-negotiatible in my book!  Nevertheless, we made a date to meet for coffee at yet another Starbucks…

And it was fine (again)…just fine.  He seemed like a really nice person but given his age, his accent and his lack of a sense of humor (at least what I could see)–it was not a match!  I would match him up with a friend, though, if I could think of someone he would be a good match with….hmmmm…gotta think about this one….

Lessons learned:

1.  Even if someone doesn’t match all your dating ‘criteria’, sometimes it’s good to give them a chance anyway–you never know!

2.  There is someone for everyone–the accent does nothing for me, but I know a dozen women who would love it!